What does the internet smell like?
Well, realistically, it smells like a con…anime conventions are the closet thing I’ve come to experiencing how the internet feels in real life. All the anonymous bustling, shenanigans that feel removed from the restraints of normal reality, and the blistering, overwhelming feeling of information overload.
For the most part, conventions don’t smell too bad, if people are properly spread out and the air con is in full force. Normally, I’m more concerned with the buzzing feeling from the crowd: made up of more people than you can properly comprehend, each and every soul determined to bring into reality their anime fantasies, no matter how small.
But in small rooms, where people are crowded — like viewing rooms, hotel room events, and game rooms? Phew…It can get ripe. An unsettling warmth, the pungent nose-wrinkling miasma of sweat & BO. And it’s never the sexy kind either, it’s the kind you’d never be smelling if it wasn’t for the fact that you wanted to check out some obscure whatever-the-fuck.
So yes, realistically, the internet STINKS. All stress sweat and stale food and maybe unwashed pussy & semen if you haven’t been keeping on top of things lately. But reality, the stone cold sobering physical reality is not all there is when it comes to the internet, is there? No, no, no. To leave it like this would be too reductive, too empty, too premature.
So what does the internet smell like?
By its very nature, I can’t tell you what your internet smells like. But I can paint you a picture of what it is for me.
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The internet is a vast, never ending ocean. In my trusty little boat, I navigate the sparkling seas.
When it’s good, oh, is it good! The sun shines overhead with perfect feeling and warmth. The sea salt and brine are noticable, but not overwhelming.
I make my rounds to familiar islands & shores. The people are happy to see me and I them. We exchange colorful, stimulating gifts that tickle our hearts.
When the sun sets, I make my way to my private little cove. In its remoteness and isolation, it is peaceful.
In the safety of my little shack, I heat up some rice and fry some fresh fish, and marveling at the day’s gifts.
10/03/2021
Published 02/09/2022