In computing, a partition is a sectioned off part of your hard drive with its own file directory. In the event of an electronic attack, virus, or just plain fuck up, whatever was partitioned off would be safe and sound. There is a similar concept in psychology – compartmentalizing. In order to prevent emotional discomfort, the person isolates different aspects of the self from each other. This is normal and healthy to some extent. “Work” you is different from “fun” you, “family” you is different from “friend” you. If you acted the same way you do at the club at a child’s birthday party, everyone would notice something is wrong!
The trouble comes when compartmentalization creates a total disconnect between your actions and yourself. Instead of having the social context around you as a guide to expressing yourself, you are cut off from your core completely. This can lead to being at the mercy of the people around you, pliable and exploitable OR being subsumed completely by repressed desires, your inner compass nowhere to be found. Neither is a pleasant state of mind to be in or be around, yet this makes up the air of the internet we breathe in each and everyday.
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We remember better days, but in order to survive, we must live in the here and now.
I KNOW it wasn’t like this as a kid – it wasn’t even like this last year! This extreme rain, this extreme heat. Funny little memes that would feed whole communities for months, sometimes years, now not enough meat for a week. World-shaking, epoch-making happenings that could destabilize and reroute culture entirely, once rare, are now just part of the ordinary everyday. The physical world and internet maia cycle repressed garbage into each other endlessly in an unbreakable toxic circuit, the perfect atmosphere for letting rancid anger and mildewed despair bloom.
This extreme rain, this extreme heat.
My heart aches for those who must navigate these waters in necessity, mind and guts vulnerable a requisite to make a living off these choppy seas. Once you’ve gotten big enough, once you’ve gotten enough support, it’s not so bad. But in order to become big, you must be known. And to become known, you must be seen.
A bright, warm, inviting light adrift in rough waters doesn’t just attract big exquisite ships and sailors lost at sea – it attracts disgusting, light-deprived creatures, all bloodlust and coldness and teeth. Constant nipping and ripping, a thousand little cuts. For what? Bony fish. No flesh. No meat.
Worst of all…no taste.
Just dried up blood and heat.
04/17/2022
Published 04/27/2022