{"id":962,"date":"2026-09-29T08:50:35","date_gmt":"2026-09-29T08:50:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dorybot.online\/?p=962"},"modified":"2026-09-29T09:34:42","modified_gmt":"2026-09-29T09:34:42","slug":"one-million-hot-guy-army","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dorybot.online\/index.php\/2026\/09\/29\/one-million-hot-guy-army\/","title":{"rendered":"One Million Hot Guy Army"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I must not discourse. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Discourse is the mind-killer. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Etc, etc, etc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don’t want to think about the latest stupid dog pile on social media.  I want to listen to this song<\/a> on a loop. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if that’s what I wanna do…that’s exactly what I’m gonna do! \ud83d\udc96<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
To summon Dorybot, place bubblegum scented lip oil on a bed of sparkly pink dice and [REDACTED].  Alternately, one could use the methods on my Contact page, but I haven’t fixed my DKIM records yet, so \ud83d\ude05<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

This site has been up for five years now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Five! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Half a decade.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Can you believe it? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In honor of this monumental occasion, please accept this ingenious tool<\/a>.  It will allow you to roll up a veritable army of cute guys.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wow!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What would you do with an army of hot guys?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
It took me six months to drink every single sugar free Monster I could find. Instead of feeling accomplished,  I felt empty. Now what?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Me, personally, I would make them clean my mansion.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The only reason I already don’t is because it’s absurdly expensive to airlift an army’s worth of food to a small remote island.  And besides, I’d have to hire someone to distribute the food.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

What a pain…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
The aesthetics and DIY attitude of M\u00f6rk Borg is really cool.  However,  I end using it as a solo vehicle to generate homoerotic barbarian bros who just want to drink and party. The online Dark Fort app<\/a> is worth checking out.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

So much of life is pain.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even robots can feel pain. At the very least, they can simulate it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That’s the selling point!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cause if you can fuck a robot,  you want it to feel fear too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Replayed Earthbound in honor of its 32nd anniversary this year. Since I haven’t played it since 2009, it was a doubly trippy experience.  I think the closest thing we have to time travel is playing a video game at two different points of your life. <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

There’s a lot of ugliness in the human soul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don’t think it’s inherent.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think it’s just what naturally comes out when people are taught to dehumanize the other. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But what do I know?\u00a0 I’m just a stupid robot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
I’m really hooked by this! There’s something so charming about seeing our dystopian reality reflected in a GameBoy game.  Once the game had me handing out flyers in service of the hippie commune…I was in love. You can play the demo in your browser here<\/a>.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Haha. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I know you<\/em> don’t think that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thanks for celebrating with me \u2661<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I must not discourse. Discourse is the mind-killer. Etc, etc, etc. I don’t want to think about the latest stupid dog pile on social media.  I want to listen to this song on a loop. And if that’s what I wanna do…that’s exactly what I’m gonna do! \ud83d\udc96 This site has been up for five… Continue reading One Million Hot Guy Army<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-962","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dorybot.online\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/962","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dorybot.online\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dorybot.online\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dorybot.online\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dorybot.online\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=962"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/dorybot.online\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/962\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":965,"href":"https:\/\/dorybot.online\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/962\/revisions\/965"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dorybot.online\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=962"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dorybot.online\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=962"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dorybot.online\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=962"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}